Star Mass

I was sulking on the curb tired of riding my bike around in circles, unsure where I should go, and wondering where my brothers had gone off to all afternoon.

but you never asked me

I was spooked when, sitting on Memere’s lap in the kitchen, I saw the image of Jesus floating upwards just on the outside of the screen door.

 but you never asked me

I understood the messages that poor Auntie Joanne was trying to convey through her raspberries and honking when we sat on the floor playing with her faded toys.

 but you never asked me

I was really certain that was a very poor idea playing with that Ouija board in a stanger’s dark house, thinking we were so wise, laughing at our bravado.

 but you never asked me

I was very sad, yet at the same time I was feeling secretly a little bit of joy when Grammy died, and that made me sort of confused and ashamed.

 but you never asked me

I surrendered to customary avalanches of angry emotion that didn’t seem to belong to me even though they tumbled out from somewhere inside.

 but you never asked me

I traveled to many different lands looking to encounter things unique and exotic, although time and again I discovered the wonder of ordinariness.

but you never asked me

I so very dearly loved that old tree in front of the house, and mourned for a time at having to part ways when life took me in a new direction.

 but you never asked me

until one day we sat in a circle under summer shade
sharing secrets of courage
when the heart caught the query…what being a man means for me

then placing the Question in my pocket
a mere speck of sand holding the mass of a star, scratching against my thigh day by day
tickling a tender nerve winding up and in

no…
do go ahead and ask me

…yes, here
here and always and forever is the
Ordinary

just ask me